i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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