If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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