Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
