Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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