Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
