Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
