real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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