I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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