suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
