the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
