i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
