CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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