I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
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