He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
sarcasm needs its own font
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
