Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Duck Duck Cougar?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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