I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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