Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
