What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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