bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my being single is dangerous.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
