For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
