got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
