Can Purell be used as lube?
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
