So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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