I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We're too hungover to prance.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
