I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
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