I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
His hands were made for my vagina.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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