Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
