Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
