You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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