Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
