we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
