Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
