After last night, I could never be a politician.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
