Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
