I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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