She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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