She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
