bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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