Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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