Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
