is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
