Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He shit in the fireplace
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
