Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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