I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
