U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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