Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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