i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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