We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
