I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
