I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
it's like iHOP with fire
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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