What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Randomize
