Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
