i don't plan on having that self control this summer
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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