Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize