i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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