I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
