i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
