i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
