Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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