I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Randomize
